I spend my life drifting from one meaningless distraction to another.
I have a stockpile of things to worry about each morning from getting enough time to wash and dress myself before the children take over, to how am I going to entertain them all day, to what am I going to feed them, and most importantly how am I going to sneak in the 3 tons of chocolate that’s keeping me going without either them seeing it or much worse, having to share some!
When I do get five minutes to myself (when their dad is doing bedtime and I’m not feeding the rabbits or tidying up after another home cooked but exhaustingly messy baby-led dinner) I choose to fill this sacred time with mindless drivel.
I discovered about a year ago that I fit the description of what is referred to as an HSP, a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ and a part of that is that I really must have a period of solitude or ‘down time’ each day or I go a little bit crazy.
Having this knowledge and finding that time is the relatively easy part. I am much more fortunate than many mums who are either raising children on their own or have partners that work long hours and so are basically midweek single parents. This is a small window of freedom many are not fortunate enough to have, let alone waste. And waste it is what I do.
How do I spend this holy hour (not quite, but not far off an hour most nights)? Two words: Crap T.V.
I can’t help myself. My current favourites are ‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’ and ‘The Only Way is Essex’. I devour these shows like a child opening presents on Christmas morning. I pause it, and even rewind it, if there is even the slightest distraction or disturbance during the (reasonably terrible) dialogue. I have absolutely no idea why I care so much about what one surgically enhanced character says to another. But I do.
Like any addict after I’ve had my fix, I am then consumed with a lovely mix of guilt, embarrassment and shame. I am often left wondering if I have replaced real human contact with living through the lives of this small collection of vain ‘celebrities’.
My subconscious is screaming:
Hello! Aren’t you running a mindfulness support group? Why aren’t you using this time to promote the group, blog, prep for the sessions or, here’s a crazy notion, practice MINDFULNESS!
Mindfulness is helping me to spot the many areas of my life that could do with a tweak, if not a complete revamp and this is obviously a good place to have dig.
I am realising that whenever I get a moment to myself (or with my husband), I am choosing to zone out in front of a boxset (currently re-watching the Sopranos) with snacks and booze, rather than utilising this time for self improvement or enriching my life .
Many people confuse mindfulness with relaxation. I have no problem with needing some ‘down time’ to engage with a meaningless programme (I’m obviously not referring to the masterpiece that is ‘The Sopranos’ here) however now that I am becoming more and more aware of my emotions, I am increasingly alerted to the fact that this sedentary pastime leaves me drained, lethargic and uninspired.
I am going to use this mindfulness of how the status quo makes me feel to attempt to alter how I choose to spend my freedom.
This is an example of how being aware and accepting of how your actions are making you feel can give you the opportunity to reflect and make any changes that you might find beneficial.
This is the powerful awakening that practicing mindfulness can lead you to, if you choose to embrace it.
Do you have any guilty pleasures that are taking up your time without giving much back in return? Is it wrong to spend your life watching other people’s lives rather than living our own? Why are the cast of TOWIE all so orange?
I’d love to hear from you.
Sx
Mindfully Local 
Hey up,
Really enjoyed reading this. At first as a kind of insight into the life of someone I once knew a lot better than I do now, but then as a genuine interest in what you wanted to say and the question you proposed.
I myself am someone who has been challenged with aneixty over the years, a self diagnosis that I’ve come to realise through being surround by loved ones also living with it. For me, and like many others, mindfulness is our savour, but it’s not always easy to tap into. When my mind is on overdrive, near constant mental noise brought on by sheer exhaustion physically and mentally, doing something pro active and mindful can only sometimes add to the struggle, putting pressure on myself to ‘get out of my funk’. So I find watching ‘junk tv’ (my current guilty pleasure I see Made in Chelsea and I Zombie) to put me in a state of relaxation. Watch something that means I don’t have to think, focus too hard an drew ultimately rest my body and mind respectively. I soon find my mental chatter quieten down and start to get the energy to get back up and off again.
I mean, it might not work straight away, sometimes it takes a whole day sitting in front of the box on a Sunday to get my senses going again. Once I feel ‘strong’ enough, I generally have an urge to get moving and am in a far better place to be productive, even take part in a mindful activity.
I’ve realised very recently that I take on way too much. Saying yes to far many times and as a result I burn out and need this rest or ‘me time’. So every day, I take this time, like you, to do something to help me relax – tv, music, etc.
I think this ‘you time’ is so important and however you wish to spend it, is up to you and to push away those guilty thoughts because actually by relaxing and watching TV, you’re recharging your batteries, so that you can be productively again.
Thanks for the read.
Steve xx
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Please excuse the spelling and grammer (pressed send without proof reading…whoops) x
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I also pressed ‘publish’ sooner than I intended to. Oh well!
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Hi Steve,
Really lovely to hear from you and thank you for reading my post.
I am in total agreement with the need to recharge our batteries and indulge in some ‘easy viewing’. There is obviously a reason why we are a nation of Soap Opera lovers! I just wish I was drawn to something slightly more sophisticated- like University Challenge or countdown. I’m not as they are both yawnfests, in my humble opinion!
But maybe if I was utilising the rest of my spare time (spare time – hahaha good one!) then I wouldn’t feel half as guilty about watching itvbe and the top quality shows they churn out.
I’m glad I brought this topic up as maybe I should be feeling less embarrassed by my viewing choices as there is a reason the channels plough millions into them. Perhaps the answer for me is the need to work out the line between relaxation and procrastination. I’m just very aware that the cushion on my end of the sofa sits quite a bit lower than the others.
I wish you all the best in trying to perfect the right balance between taking on too much and allowing yourself enough time to breathe. And when you do find the magic formula, you must share the secrets with the rest of us.
Siobhan x
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